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How do prospective brides and grooms communicate their gift preferences and needs without seeming crass or solicitous? How does a giver avoid errors in taste or duplication when selecting wedding gifts? With just enough distance between giver and recipient, the wedding registry does both. It is an easy and effective way to match the wants and needs of the new couple with a givers desire to please the recipients.

Today, couples register for chain saws and lawn mowers at hardware stores, compact discs and videocassettes at music stores, backpacks and bicycles at sporting goods stores, even limited-edition prints and art books at museum shops. And why not? Toady's bride and groom are older and more sophisticated than their counterparts of yesteryear. Some are postponing marriage to complete educations, travel, or pursue careers. Others are going at marriage the second time around. Many have already furnished their homes and set up housekeeping. They know what they want and need—and it might not necessarily be linens and tableware.

Some couples consider the exercise of selecting and listing preferences a valuable one. Although she doesn't expect to receive all of the items she and her fiancée listed, one bride-to-be said, "It made us think about the things we needed to set up our new home."

Getting the word out on where a couple is registered can be a delicate matter. Short of printing where a couple is registered on the wedding announcement (a definite no-no), how are friends and family informed? Generally, by word of mouth. When asked, the couple's families and the wedding attendants might pass on this information. In addition, a hostess might make note of the registry on a shower invitation. However, this information is provided only to assist the prospective donors, not to suggest that gifts must be selected from the registry.

For the givers convenience, gifts may be ordered over the telephone or purchased in the store. After obtaining a registry list (most of these are now computer printouts), the giver is able to peruse the store to inspect patterns, color schemes, and styles chosen by the couple.

Opponents of the registry service believe a list of pre-selected items limits givers in their gift choices and allows the recipients to know the exact amount spent on a gift. A wise couple would list a variety of items in a range of prices. Although china and silver patterns are usually designated by the couple, other selections allow for some discretion by the giver. For example, a giver might select a tablecloth or centerpiece to complement the couple's choice of tableware.

Personal touches in wrapping and embellishing the gift and a thoughtful note reflecting the givers sentiments can make a gift—even one pre-selected by the bride and groom—memorable and meaningful.

Present Perfect: Unforgettable Gifts for Every Occasion is filled with wedding registry gift ideas. In addition, you get tips on gifting etiquette, shopping, wrapping, special presentations, and much, much more. To order the book, click here.

NEW!  To start shopping for gifts right now, click here.

Have any wedding registry ideas you'd like to share?